Wednesday, December 29, 2004


christmas this year was wonderful really. made even more wonderful because of my special someone. but it's heartwrenching knowing that elsewhere in the world people are suffering, they're broken and they're crying and they've no happy christmas to speak of. and when i read all the personal accounts, when i see how the disasters have impacted each life individually, it's just. damn sad. for lack of better word. damn damn sad. and when i see photos and videoclips of crying parents and of rows of corpses of children who drowned in the tsunamis, it just tears at my heart. and guilt sets in when i think of how blessed singaporeans are, how often we whinge and bitch about the littlest things and we don't count our blessings half as often as we should. sickened by all the spoilt brats here and sickened by the deaths of thousands of little ones in the stricken countries, children who had their lives cut short so suddenly and terribly. it's hard to understand why God works in the way He does in the midst of all this. but i'll pray in faith hope and love, and trust that He'll make things beautiful in His own time.

"More things are wrought by prayer
Than this world dreams of."


char 12/29/2004 01:10:00 AM




Saturday, December 25, 2004


jayne drew a picture of my present! and (after some editing and much copying and pasting and why doesn't mac have paint!) it's right here!


damn cute!


char 12/25/2004 03:11:00 AM






and in the process of making my christmas presents, i remembered the story of Christmas...



matthew 2:9,10 ...and behold, the star which they had seen in the East went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was.

When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy.


matthew 2:11 ..they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshipped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

luke 2:8-14 Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.



And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.
Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.
"For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

...And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

"Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, good will toward men!"




luke 2:15 So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another,"Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us."

luke 2:16 And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.



luke 2:20 then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

remember Jesus this day! merry merry christmas :)


char 12/25/2004 01:59:00 AM




Wednesday, December 22, 2004


back from sflc outing! so happy now. and i love my presents! really truly! ange's damn nice belt and del's unopened present (waiting for 25th) and mel's and van's belated presents. most of all i love all 4 of you :) new year resolution to put y'all high up on my priority list...not that i don't already haha but more effort yeah yeah

and haven't been receiving lotsa christmas cards this year but somehow those i got this year were extra special. very sweet personalised christmas messages and from people that really matter to me.

can i post some excerpts here? the ones that made me smile and laugh and the ones that made me feel special and loved.
haha and because this is my blog i shall.

(jac's) anw, i hardly got to see you during the 2nd part of this year! :( you must must -not- do the same thing to me next year k!! you're an integral part of my life so you -must- spend more time with me k
...you make me happy!! even when you're complaining about mean people :) seriously!!

(kok wei's) i'm really glad to be in the same pbl group as you :)

(zi's) i've got to make full use of this chance to let you know how special you are to me and how much i love ya! yes even if i don't take the initiative to message you first haha.

(van's) haha you la, never date me at science canteen...haha anyway always remember that besides a LORry, you also have VAN!!

(ange's)i miss u babe! i really do. :( i wish we could rewind back to jc....
...sigh. i miss u! or have i already said that haha...
...i'll always be here for you to rant and rave at! just a phonecall or a few mouseclicks or best a bus ride away! i'll ALWAYS be here k?...i miss u haha.


i love all of you so very very much :)


char 12/22/2004 11:54:00 PM




Saturday, December 18, 2004


was fcuking pissed just now but i love hsienfei!..for helping me feel tons better even through pretty irrelevant stuff. and offering to treat me to venezia ice cream tmr. haha and at that moment it just reminded me of the last time last year when i felt like crap and she treated me to venezia as well. stuff like that never fails to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. old friends really are the best. they just know you so well and we can keep doing the same thing over and over again and we have all these traditions that we relive every year. especially around christmastime. i really can't wait! to see everyone again, to do the same thing we do every year about this time...and i think the 72 christmas party is starting to be a tradition.

painted alot of pretty ***** with very pretty antique gold paint. and i had charmaine's little helper giving me a hand :) hahah

and fuck it i've really had it with you but i'm not gonna let you spoil my christmas mood. you've spoilt it long enough.
and disclaimer i still love you lorry that wasn't directed to you in any way.








char 12/18/2004 01:01:00 AM




Wednesday, December 15, 2004


today!
i could have had my last piano exam ever, ever!
or. maybe not.
haha i really can't rem how it feels to pass or fail...sightreading as usual was atrocious but i just played on for what i was worth like a tonedeaf idiot, scales went much better than i expected only i could have had a greater contrast btw piano and forte, aural was better than i expected too but i'm not too sure about that either. somehow i think mr ralph macdonald was giving me chance. humpf.
but my pieces!!!!! aurggggh wasted is an understatement when you make mistakes you don't ever ever make normally just cuz you're freakin' nervous and every fibre of your body is gonna snap and your fingers just go outta control and you're ready to burst from the tension and the fear and damnit! i hate exams larh. exams just sap all the fun from playing the piano. really it does. huge huge sigh.

but thanks to everyone who wished me g'luck and God's blessings :) haha if anything good came out of this exam it's knowing you guys care and feeling loved at the same time.

and my parents just acquired this set of walkie talkies that they're like using for free in just about every damn place they go to. which is seriously e-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-i-n-g. and they think they're uber cool when they speak in hush hush tones- "seekeong over, over!" and all hell breaks loose when other people using walkies happen to be sharing that same frequency so all you get is a whole lot of static and some chirpy shortfart voice speaking malay. what a wonderful life.


char 12/15/2004 11:41:00 PM




Thursday, December 09, 2004


my family went to penang for a coupla days and i really didn't expect to miss them so much. and i guess i never thought their absence would be able to make me feel that much more lonely and empty inside.
and really i've got so much to be thankful for
my parents and brothers, my wonderful friends whom i love and have missed, my wonderful friends whom i love and are missing so muchly, my experiences and even shortcomings that make me even more grateful for the happier moments in life, my God, and you, for keeping me company throughout the lonely 4 days, for bowing to almost all my whims and fancies and not getting even vaguely pissed when i got you into that accident and for so many other things but i wanna keep this short haha

thankful for all of you
for keeping me grounded and for reminding me who i really am. amidst all this transience, erraticism, and the entire process of discovering and rediscovering myself.
it took me awhile but i got there
appreciate y'all so so so much :)


char 12/09/2004 01:33:00 AM




Saturday, December 04, 2004


Sailin' away on the crest of a wave
It's like magic
Rollin' and ridin' and slippin' & slidin'
It's magic

And you, and your sweet desire,
You took me,
higher and higher, baby
It's a livin' thing,
It's a terrible thing to lose
It's a given thing
What a terrible thing to lose.

Making believe this is what you've conceived
From your worst day,(im taking a dive)
Moving in line when you look back in time
To your first day (im taking im taking)

And you, and your sweet desire,
You took me,
higher and higher baby
It's a livin' thing,
It's a terrible thing to lose
It's a given thing
What a terrible thing to lose.

Takin' a dive 'cos you can't halt the slide
Floating downstream, (im taking a dive)
So let her go don't start spoiling the show
It's a bad dream (im taking im taking)

And you, and your sweet desire,
You took me,
higher and higher baby
It's a livin' thing,
It's a terrible thing to lose
It's a given thing
What a terrible thing to lose.

/the beautiful south


hello yunde darlin' i miss you too.


why do we always hurt the people we love most of all.
i want to steal your pain and make it all right again but i feel so goddamn helpless.
what to do what to do.



char 12/04/2004 11:11:00 AM