Wednesday, July 30, 2003
tangled . lacquered
scarlet coursing through tight veined canvas
pin . pricked . tattoos
like poisoned honey to parched lips
an unspoken tirade
sprinkled mad magic
scattered wild diamonds
plucked them like weeds
and threw them like flowers
i've . come . undone
char 7/30/2003 09:50:00 PM
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Child, it's broke
And I feel you slipping away
Child, you spoke
And the world fell silent again
Do you love
Do you need love
Child, undone
By fear of falling through cracks
Child, by one mistake, you've
lost your way back
(Something's got to turn you round)
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels shout
Is your heart strung out
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels fall
Have you lost it all
Child be still
In the storm to wave us goodbye
Child we will
Return to dance with the sky
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels shout
Is your heart strung out
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels cry
Does your spirit die
w h i t e l i l i e s i s l a n d
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Child, it's broke
And I feel you slipping away
Child, you spoke
And the world fell silent again
Do you love
Do you need love
Child, undone
By fear of falling through cracks
Child, by one mistake, you've
lost your way back
(Something's got to turn you round)
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels shout
Is your heart strung out
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels fall
Have you lost it all
Child be still
In the storm to wave us goodbye
Child we will
Return to dance with the sky
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels shout
Is your heart strung out
Do you love
Do you need love
When your angels cry
Does your spirit die
w h i t e l i l i e s i s l a n d
char 7/29/2003 07:16:00 PM
Monday, July 28, 2003
anyway i've made some solid decisions. and i will stick to them. wish me luck.
there are such things as cold summer days
Monday, July 28, 2003
anyway i've made some solid decisions. and i will stick to them. wish me luck.
there are such things as cold summer days
char 7/28/2003 12:12:00 AM
Sunday, July 27, 2003
did the most lobang cip i've ever done today. really i tell you i get so delirious everytime i think about everything i got outta it. 11 hours, great company and food, and over 100 bux worth of stuf. oh and some tv crew filmed part of me too. even got my 0.1 second of fame. yeah so basically i went for this amazing singapore race thing then had to dish out the goodie bags to the participants, and check in each team when they came in. really felt damn grossified by all the palpitating and sweat-soaked bodies the perspiration was just dripping everywhere. when they were ready to collapse at the booth the only form of resuscitation we could provide were two bottles of newater and some useless bags full of brochures to be shared between 4 group members, or if they were really dying we could direct them to the first aid station over to the right. ick remembering now all the wet-with-god-knows-what questaports and number tags and sealed handphones. there was a group called a beauty and three bods had to curb myself from asking who was who. and imagine my face when i asked a team "are you the fuzzie wuzzies". oh the winning team was finding nome. haha quite cute yarhs. oh and i spent like my whole time colouring some picture. for some crayola contest for <12 yr olds and i actually submitted the bloody thing. and it was a sure-winner larh hahhaha. the guy at the booth kept giving me a knowing smile and raising his eyebrows at me but for some reason or other it was very perturbing. anyway the crayola woman was quite sharp and wouldn't let me get away with winning the first prize dammnit. but hsien and i persisted and so her guard kinda slipped and she gave us some small tokens haha *sneakysneaky* so yarh she was like this is our little secret or some shit like that. heh the guy was there still smiling like some monkey. then later we had the audacity to show our shameless faces with guilt written all over them at the crayola booth again to help her with sorting out the crayons. aha then when she left the guy stayed on and he gave me his crayola set which was this damn big art desk or smth. which the woman gave him but i presume he had nothing to do with it anyway. oh but he kept my pic, when it was supposed to go into the crayola office so i guess we're even. then he proceeded to produce this gargantuan box of crayola stuff and then all of us were like digging into it like ravenous wolves ok actually maybe only me but still!!!! my gawsh haha it's like all the crayola stuff you could ever want for free and then the guy was really grinning like hell hahaha looked so proud of himself stowing away all that. oh and we absconded with like 30 rolls of samsung film so shioks! :)
Sunday, July 27, 2003
did the most lobang cip i've ever done today. really i tell you i get so delirious everytime i think about everything i got outta it. 11 hours, great company and food, and over 100 bux worth of stuf. oh and some tv crew filmed part of me too. even got my 0.1 second of fame. yeah so basically i went for this amazing singapore race thing then had to dish out the goodie bags to the participants, and check in each team when they came in. really felt damn grossified by all the palpitating and sweat-soaked bodies the perspiration was just dripping everywhere. when they were ready to collapse at the booth the only form of resuscitation we could provide were two bottles of newater and some useless bags full of brochures to be shared between 4 group members, or if they were really dying we could direct them to the first aid station over to the right. ick remembering now all the wet-with-god-knows-what questaports and number tags and sealed handphones. there was a group called a beauty and three bods had to curb myself from asking who was who. and imagine my face when i asked a team "are you the fuzzie wuzzies". oh the winning team was finding nome. haha quite cute yarhs. oh and i spent like my whole time colouring some picture. for some crayola contest for <12 yr olds and i actually submitted the bloody thing. and it was a sure-winner larh hahhaha. the guy at the booth kept giving me a knowing smile and raising his eyebrows at me but for some reason or other it was very perturbing. anyway the crayola woman was quite sharp and wouldn't let me get away with winning the first prize dammnit. but hsien and i persisted and so her guard kinda slipped and she gave us some small tokens haha *sneakysneaky* so yarh she was like this is our little secret or some shit like that. heh the guy was there still smiling like some monkey. then later we had the audacity to show our shameless faces with guilt written all over them at the crayola booth again to help her with sorting out the crayons. aha then when she left the guy stayed on and he gave me his crayola set which was this damn big art desk or smth. which the woman gave him but i presume he had nothing to do with it anyway. oh but he kept my pic, when it was supposed to go into the crayola office so i guess we're even. then he proceeded to produce this gargantuan box of crayola stuff and then all of us were like digging into it like ravenous wolves ok actually maybe only me but still!!!! my gawsh haha it's like all the crayola stuff you could ever want for free and then the guy was really grinning like hell hahaha looked so proud of himself stowing away all that. oh and we absconded with like 30 rolls of samsung film so shioks! :)
char 7/27/2003 11:49:00 PM
Saturday, July 26, 2003
yiling wrote me this the other day
courage is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear and injustice while continuing to affirm inwardly that life, with all its sorrows, is good; that everything has a meaning. even if in a sense beyond our understanding. and , there's always *tomorrow* Finish your day and be done with it, You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it serenely, with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. and remember, even if things don't turn out the way you would have them to, that Good things, when short, are twice as good.
Saturday, July 26, 2003
yiling wrote me this the other day
courage is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear and injustice while continuing to affirm inwardly that life, with all its sorrows, is good; that everything has a meaning. even if in a sense beyond our understanding. and , there's always *tomorrow* Finish your day and be done with it, You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it serenely, with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. and remember, even if things don't turn out the way you would have them to, that Good things, when short, are twice as good.
char 7/26/2003 01:58:00 PM
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
very worried cuz i seem to be losing the trust of people who matter the most. van i'm sorry i really am. i'm really grateful for all your advice and yep i'll try and stop making excuses for myself. i just hope that everything turns out fine just want to say that it was never in my intention to backstab and get anyone into trouble. really really really. and ange as well i know you have my best intentions at heart and i credit you and van with lotsa trust yarh? and think i just want to think hsienfei for everything today. thankew dear :) for being my support and listening even though she probably knew less than half of what i was babbling about, and for her treat as well. which was uncalled for and it's in times like these when i know i'll have the strength to pull through. and for her arm around me when i just felt so drained and so weary and when the tears came she was there by my side. and so i guess really today wasn't as bad as i made it out to be. oh and she said something along the lines of it's better to love and trust and be hurt, rather than not trust at all, and be cold and distant. and thinking about it, it's true. i don't want to be jaded by all these. i wanna have too much love to go around, too much love to spare, and just keep on loving everyone. because i want to live in my happiness. i'm not going to drag myself down any longer. but yup the tears would still come and go but you know what? the soul would have no rainbows had the eyes no tears.
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
very worried cuz i seem to be losing the trust of people who matter the most. van i'm sorry i really am. i'm really grateful for all your advice and yep i'll try and stop making excuses for myself. i just hope that everything turns out fine just want to say that it was never in my intention to backstab and get anyone into trouble. really really really. and ange as well i know you have my best intentions at heart and i credit you and van with lotsa trust yarh? and think i just want to think hsienfei for everything today. thankew dear :) for being my support and listening even though she probably knew less than half of what i was babbling about, and for her treat as well. which was uncalled for and it's in times like these when i know i'll have the strength to pull through. and for her arm around me when i just felt so drained and so weary and when the tears came she was there by my side. and so i guess really today wasn't as bad as i made it out to be. oh and she said something along the lines of it's better to love and trust and be hurt, rather than not trust at all, and be cold and distant. and thinking about it, it's true. i don't want to be jaded by all these. i wanna have too much love to go around, too much love to spare, and just keep on loving everyone. because i want to live in my happiness. i'm not going to drag myself down any longer. but yup the tears would still come and go but you know what? the soul would have no rainbows had the eyes no tears.
char 7/23/2003 08:47:00 PM
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
faith? yeah i had faith. i held you in the good faith that you said whatever you meant. i had faith that you weren't the sort of person people made you out to be. so maybe i'm sick of defending whatever i believed in. because time and again whatever i had faith in let me down. so i'm losing this faith in myself. and i'll never trust myself again. it's my fault for making it so easy. it's my fault for believing in all this thus far. it's all my fault.
not going to sleep tonight.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
faith? yeah i had faith. i held you in the good faith that you said whatever you meant. i had faith that you weren't the sort of person people made you out to be. so maybe i'm sick of defending whatever i believed in. because time and again whatever i had faith in let me down. so i'm losing this faith in myself. and i'll never trust myself again. it's my fault for making it so easy. it's my fault for believing in all this thus far. it's all my fault.
not going to sleep tonight.
char 7/22/2003 11:18:00 PM
Sunday, July 20, 2003
bass player's lament
every small moment of love has a concentrated tone/held special/filtered, purified, and recorded for ever in the heart, which is the night's black spool of tape
a strange love/ never talked about, only done/never acknowledged, only performed/in the moments suspended, here and there/and here and there/and here/and there/ as the night stretched away, into morning/one night of a passion sharp, muffled with a clenching hand/and kept secret, even from ourselves/clandestine and stolen, even from ourselves/but rich enough, for all that/certainly, rich enough for me
because you know how it is, when it gets dark/how we find love where we find it
or else we lose it
or else never find it at all
jeff noon/needle in the groove
Sunday, July 20, 2003
bass player's lament
every small moment of love has a concentrated tone/held special/filtered, purified, and recorded for ever in the heart, which is the night's black spool of tape
a strange love/ never talked about, only done/never acknowledged, only performed/in the moments suspended, here and there/and here and there/and here/and there/ as the night stretched away, into morning/one night of a passion sharp, muffled with a clenching hand/and kept secret, even from ourselves/clandestine and stolen, even from ourselves/but rich enough, for all that/certainly, rich enough for me
because you know how it is, when it gets dark/how we find love where we find it
or else we lose it
or else never find it at all
jeff noon/needle in the groove
char 7/20/2003 09:21:00 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2003
great so now my name is splashed all over the staff room tabloids, why? because i managed to single handedly destroy everything that stands for good in mr ang's premier institution, how? by wearing slippers to school in the morning. i really can't take the stupid hypocrisy. it's all about image, and really who gives a damn about our welfare anymore. when i tried to reason with him he tells me that it's fundamentally wrong and whatever i tell him would not hide the fact that what i've done is wrong wrong wrong. then he proceeds to tell me to pull up my socks "literally" and "physically"(?!?!) and tuck in my shirt like him. then now the whole staffroom is agog with this new vital bit of information seriously you won't find a better group of gossip mongers anywhere else. i don't know why gossip like this should actually keep them going, like whatevuh makes you happy man. they really need new lives.
Thursday, July 17, 2003
great so now my name is splashed all over the staff room tabloids, why? because i managed to single handedly destroy everything that stands for good in mr ang's premier institution, how? by wearing slippers to school in the morning. i really can't take the stupid hypocrisy. it's all about image, and really who gives a damn about our welfare anymore. when i tried to reason with him he tells me that it's fundamentally wrong and whatever i tell him would not hide the fact that what i've done is wrong wrong wrong. then he proceeds to tell me to pull up my socks "literally" and "physically"(?!?!) and tuck in my shirt like him. then now the whole staffroom is agog with this new vital bit of information seriously you won't find a better group of gossip mongers anywhere else. i don't know why gossip like this should actually keep them going, like whatevuh makes you happy man. they really need new lives.
char 7/17/2003 08:30:00 PM
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
been feeling quite bad cuz i haven't been turning up at cell, and haven't been doing quiet time either. my 40-day fast endeavour isn't turning out too good either haha. accidentally ate a mentos today haiyarh, so decided to just break fast 3 hours into it. don't wanna stray from God any longer because i'm scared i'll never come back to Him again. and i don't know why but i'm damn lethargic these days, emotionally and physically. what's wrong.
you make me feel/ the wrong kind of stupid
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
been feeling quite bad cuz i haven't been turning up at cell, and haven't been doing quiet time either. my 40-day fast endeavour isn't turning out too good either haha. accidentally ate a mentos today haiyarh, so decided to just break fast 3 hours into it. don't wanna stray from God any longer because i'm scared i'll never come back to Him again. and i don't know why but i'm damn lethargic these days, emotionally and physically. what's wrong.
you make me feel/ the wrong kind of stupid
char 7/15/2003 10:55:00 PM
Monday, July 14, 2003
got a bad case of monday blues today mans...won't elaborate. nvm the night chicago died saved on ange's phone cheered me up most of the day. haha go dld the song and take a listen :)
Daddy was a cop
On the East Side of Chicago
Back in the USA
Back in the bad old days
In the heat of a summer night
In the land of the dollar bill
When the town of Chicago died
And they talk about it still
When a man named Al Capone
Tried to make that town his own
And he called his gang to war
Against the forces of the law
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night the people saw
Brother, what a fight the people saw
Yes, indeed
And the sound of the battle rang
Through the streets of the old East Side
'Til the last of the hoodlum gang
Had surrendered up or died
There was shouting in the street
And the sound of running feet
And I asked someone who said
'Bout a hundred cops are dead
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night the people saw
Brother, what a fight the people saw
Yes, indeed
Then there was no sound at all
But the clock up on the wall
Then the door burst open wide
And my daddy stepped inside
And he kissed my momma's face
Then brushed her tears away
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night the people saw
Brother, what a fight the people saw
Yes, indeed
The night Chicago died
The night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
The night Chicago died
The night Chicago died
so rocks.
Monday, July 14, 2003
got a bad case of monday blues today mans...won't elaborate. nvm the night chicago died saved on ange's phone cheered me up most of the day. haha go dld the song and take a listen :)
Daddy was a cop
On the East Side of Chicago
Back in the USA
Back in the bad old days
In the heat of a summer night
In the land of the dollar bill
When the town of Chicago died
And they talk about it still
When a man named Al Capone
Tried to make that town his own
And he called his gang to war
Against the forces of the law
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night the people saw
Brother, what a fight the people saw
Yes, indeed
And the sound of the battle rang
Through the streets of the old East Side
'Til the last of the hoodlum gang
Had surrendered up or died
There was shouting in the street
And the sound of running feet
And I asked someone who said
'Bout a hundred cops are dead
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night the people saw
Brother, what a fight the people saw
Yes, indeed
Then there was no sound at all
But the clock up on the wall
Then the door burst open wide
And my daddy stepped inside
And he kissed my momma's face
Then brushed her tears away
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
I heard my momma cry
I heard her pray the night Chicago died
Brother, what a night the people saw
Brother, what a fight the people saw
Yes, indeed
The night Chicago died
The night Chicago died
Brother, what a night it really was
Brother, what a fight it really was
Glory be
The night Chicago died
The night Chicago died
so rocks.
char 7/14/2003 10:55:00 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2003
funny how sometimes the smallest thing can remind you of so much. today that one fleeting moment jolted me back in time, exposing whatever i've buried, the memory hanging like a miasma, calling to me ...
hold on.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
funny how sometimes the smallest thing can remind you of so much. today that one fleeting moment jolted me back in time, exposing whatever i've buried, the memory hanging like a miasma, calling to me ...
hold on.
char 7/13/2003 10:51:00 PM
I wind you up
then I wait for the melancholy
I give you up
while you sit here in all your glory
I never thought you would
I never knew you could
but now you're gone
and I don't think I care
I sold your love
down the river for a bow and arrow
euphoria has just been here
and she's looking terrible
I never sung this low
it's better if you go
I know you're mine
I sit here and want you to try
to love me like a monster
one last time
control me like a father
one last time
stay with me till I'm stronger
one last
bound to kick me when I'm down
don't kick me when I'm down
I never thought you would
I never understood
and that's why I'm weak and I want you to try
to make me an example
one last time
to drag me through the cycle
one last time
to make me a disciple
one last
round, will get me to the ground
you'll get me on the ground
oh yeah I'll see you around
yeah, I'll see you around
one last time
and I'll see you around
yeah, I'll see you around
(eight arms to hold you)
one last time
veruca salt
I wind you up
then I wait for the melancholy
I give you up
while you sit here in all your glory
I never thought you would
I never knew you could
but now you're gone
and I don't think I care
I sold your love
down the river for a bow and arrow
euphoria has just been here
and she's looking terrible
I never sung this low
it's better if you go
I know you're mine
I sit here and want you to try
to love me like a monster
one last time
control me like a father
one last time
stay with me till I'm stronger
one last
bound to kick me when I'm down
don't kick me when I'm down
I never thought you would
I never understood
and that's why I'm weak and I want you to try
to make me an example
one last time
to drag me through the cycle
one last time
to make me a disciple
one last
round, will get me to the ground
you'll get me on the ground
oh yeah I'll see you around
yeah, I'll see you around
one last time
and I'll see you around
yeah, I'll see you around
(eight arms to hold you)
one last time
veruca salt
char 7/13/2003 03:26:00 PM
don't. feel. too. good. again.
don't. feel. too. good. again.
char 7/13/2003 03:06:00 PM
Nokia 6100 is the phone for you. You always do what
you are told. You never make mistakes - or
atleast you try not to. You get upset easily
when what you have plan need to be changed,
especially at the last minute.
Which Nokia Cellphone is Most Suitable for You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Nokia 6100 is the phone for you. You always do what
you are told. You never make mistakes - or
atleast you try not to. You get upset easily
when what you have plan need to be changed,
especially at the last minute.
Which Nokia Cellphone is Most Suitable for You?
brought to you by Quizilla