Friday, February 28, 2003


When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever


the song totally justifies norah jones' windfall at the grammys.


char 2/28/2003 11:40:00 PM




Thursday, February 20, 2003


oh and at any rate i've been thinking about how shallow i can get whether or not i feel like it. and damn i feel like such a bitch.


char 2/20/2003 11:06:00 PM






i need a positive outlook on life:

when life gives you lemons, you put the juice on your hair and sit in the sun to go blonde.



char 2/20/2003 10:57:00 PM




Saturday, February 15, 2003


a thousand sparkling stars upon a midnight summer sky
the majesty and wonder of the ocean's endless tide
and the more i see the more i can't explain
how the one who set the world in place could even know my name
and i'm amazed
i'm so amazed

how great You are, how small i am,
how awesome is Your mighty hand
and i am captured by the wonder of it all
and i will offer all my praise with all my heart for all my days
how great You are, how great you are
How Great You are

A million snowflakes gently fall, yet no two are the same
the colors fill the canvas of the seasons as they change
and everywhere i look i see Your hand
why You would love someone like me i'll never understand
and i'm amazed, i'm so amazed


(how great You are)


char 2/15/2003 11:18:00 PM






muffled screams and
a hidden heart
in itself is such an art

even the sky would cry stars for you tonight


char 2/15/2003 12:57:00 AM




Friday, February 14, 2003


happy vday to me and the SFLC

i think i'm gonna be sick.


char 2/14/2003 12:04:00 AM




Sunday, February 09, 2003


i'm gonna, run away with the fairies.



(next stop wonderland)


char 2/09/2003 12:59:00 AM




Saturday, February 08, 2003


it hurts so bad, i know. i've been there before.



char 2/08/2003 12:20:00 AM






e c h o

Come to me in the silence of the night;
Come in the speaking silence of a dream;
Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright
As sunlight on a stream;
Come back in tears,
O memory of hope, love of finished years.

O dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter-sweet,
Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,
Where souls brim-full of love abide and meet;
Where thirsting longing eyes
Watch the slow door
That opening, letting in, lets out no more.

Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live
My very life again though cold in death;
Come back to me in dreams, that I may give
Pulse for pulse, breath for breath:
Speak low, lean low,
As long ago, my love, how long ago.

christina rossetti


char 2/08/2003 12:15:00 AM




Tuesday, February 04, 2003


and do you know how much it hurts me to see you cry, to see your cuts and bruises
to see you pick up your fragments, you holding your forlorn gaze in shards of broken glass
mind numbed from anxiety and exhaustion and immense sorrow

do you think i cease to feel your soul writhing from your agony?
your anguish and grief are mine
we are one.
i mourn and weep ethereal tears
as you hunch your back, shielding yourself from the lashings of bitter words and a heavy fist
you whimper and i long to touch you
but an abyss of deafening silence separates us
all i can do is to wait in your shadow
and harden my heart
to be strong where you are weak

they said that to love was to catch a glimpse of heaven. they lied.



char 2/04/2003 11:35:00 PM




Monday, February 03, 2003


pastor said in church last saturday that all our steps have been predetermined by God, but we still have freedom of will to change our destiny.

that makes everything so much less complicated, doesn't it.


char 2/03/2003 12:14:00 AM




Sunday, February 02, 2003


i really hate my parents sometimes. i hate the way i have to justify everything i do, hate the way i have to plead and beg and beseech and grovel for every itty bitty thing. i hate the way you control my every action and thought and for chrissakes i'm not your little puppet you can maneuver. just stop being so selfish and demanding and leave me be.


char 2/02/2003 11:49:00 PM